Chasing the Dragon

Tonight’s run should put me over 180 miles for May which puts it in my top five best months.  I only missed three days and averaged about 5.8 miles per day.  So why can’t I shake this feeling that I’m slacking off? 

Actually I know why.  No long runs.  I only had one true long run all month and only three runs in excess of ten miles.  Five milers just don’t give me that fix I need anymore.

The phrase “chasing the dragon” came to mind and a few key strokes later I found a definition on urbandictionary.com which I have only slightly modified below:

This term is a bit more complicated than merely "runner’s high." It starts when you have your first long run, the world is peaceful, everything is perfect, you're numb, but in the best way possible. But, soon, it starts wearing off. Fast. Your mind races, you're pulled out of your dream world. You crave the run more and more, wanting to feel the same way as you did on your first long run. You go to the shoe dealer and buy the shoes you used the first time, and run. Still feels good, but not as good as the first time. You go and run more. Closer, but not quite there. You're stuck, you don't know what to do. You want to go back to that little dream world and stay forever, but your body is already developing a tolerance. You panic. You use all your time to run more and more and more, but still, not enough. You realize that you have no more time, so you stop doing other things, running whenever you can to get you that next fix. It's still not enough.  You crave more.  So, you're broke and own nothing. But you don't care, all you care about is running. Your life becomes a living hell, all in search of that next runner’s high. That's chasing the dragon.

Sound familiar?