Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Caught off Guard

I’ve done this before. I’m a veteran now. So I can’t figure out how this snuck up on me without my realizing what was happening.

It started innocently enough.

Let’s take a look at the route for the Charleston Marathon.

. . . . tippity tappity . . . .

The race organizer’s map sucks. Let’s see what else I can find.

. . . . tippity tappity . . .

Oh look! I found the USATF certified map. Now we’re talkin’!

Now, how far is it from my hotel to the start? One, two, three . . . nine blocks.

No, I need to know precisely how far.

. . . . tippity tappity . . .

.5509 miles.

I wonder how many feet that is.

. . . . tippity tappity . . .

2908.752 feet.

Man, my ankle is a little sore today. It’s probably a stress fracture.

Hey, maybe I should check the weather forecast for Saturday while I’m at it.

. . . . tippity tappity . . .

Can I really trust weather.com? Maybe I should check a few other sources.

. . . . tippity tappity . . . intellicast . . . . tippity tappity . . . wunderground . . . . tippity tappity . . . accuweather . . . . tippity tappity . . .

And maybe the Charleston local news while I’m at it.

. . . . tippity tappity . . .

Ow! Stubbed my toe. It’s broken, I just know it. What was I thinking, walking around the house in bare feet? I’m an idiot.

Sniff, sniffle.

Oh crap! What are the symptoms of ebola?

. . . tippity tappity . . .

Yadda yadda yadda “hemorrhagic fever” yadda yadda yadda “death occurs in two weeks of onset of symptoms” yadda yadda yadda “ symptoms include weakness, dehydration, headache, joint and muscle aches . . .”

I knew it! I’ve contracted ebola. Well at least I’ve got two weeks and won’t keel over until after the race.

Damn taper madness.


  1. You now have me FREAKING OUT about when I finally have a little taper for my half!! I mean I rarely taper at all for a 5K, and it never fails I feel injured and sick the week of the race. Every time.

    If you've broken your limbs and contracted ebola --- and who knows what is next??? Chicken pox? Mumps? The Plague?? Well what is going to happen when I have to taper for real??

    I better start living in a plastic bubble NOW!

  2. Love it, Bird - you truly are a doppelhypochondriac!

  3. Good luck with the Race this wekend. I assume you're on your way now.

  4. Man, I feel your pain. What did you think of the race?

  5. I had an amazing weekend in Charleston and PR'd at the marathon. I'll post a race resort ASAP.